The format of my annual Eurovision review has changed slightly darlings this year. Usually I give a review of the entire competition from the god-awful presenters, to the songs – each and every bizarre, wacky, camp and the occasional good ones – to the voting itself. Obviously the voting round of the competition proves that “everyone really does need good neighbours” – to get points. We don’t have good neighbours so we don’t get points.
This year though I’m not reviewing the entire competition, I won’t ponder on how crap the UK did again and I won’t mention how silly countries such as Albania and Moldova did surprisingly well. No this year I’m going to present my highlights from the competition in video form and we’ll kick off with the winning song Euphoria by Loreen for Sweden – winning the competition for the first time since 1999. It’s a funky little number you can imagine going down very well in clubs across the UK.
My next highlight is Denmark’s song Should’ve Known Better by Soluna Samay which only got 21 points and finished 23rd. This song deserved to do so much better darlings – it was the best bloody one in the competition. It certainly deserved to do better than those Russian grannies or the scary lady with rope from Albania!
My next highlight certainly caught Vivian’s attention though I think it was for the topless hunks rather than the actual song. France’s Echo (You and I) by Anggun was certainly a pleasant performance but mostly for the topless men on stage. I’m so glad the topless men remained part of the performance; they were in the music video for the song but I was rather worried Eurovision bosses wouldn’t approve of nakedness on stage. Personally I think a new rule should be introduced saying every country has to have at least one topless hunk on stage during their performance…..more hunks for Vivian to pick for her Hunk of the Week.
My final highlight from the competition is Italy with their song Love Is Female (Out of Love) by Nina Zilli which got 101 points finishing 9th. The song was an early favourite but there was no stopping Sweden or the Russian grannies for that matter and poor Italy lagged behind. But at least they made it into the top 10.
Why not tell me what your highlights – or even lowlights – from last night’s competition were? Post them below darlings, it’s as easy as pie!
[Written by Queenie Le Trout]