ATV Network rummages through the first week of Celebrity Big Brother to dig out the highlights.
Katia, Jonas and Sov are at the smoking area discussing what they each do. “I was just in a public relationship. Doing a bit of this and a bit of that”, says Katia.

The rest of the housemates are in the lounge having a similar discussion. “I went to prison. I ran an illegal sex business.” Heidi tells Nicola. “I was a madam.” She continues before explaining that she now looks after exotic birds and has a Laundromat and a dog grooming business. “Oh God. You are so sensible. I’ve always thought that I’ve wanted a Laundromat”, says Stephanie. Continuing that her dog grooming business is very successful Stephanie tells her she Skypes her two puppies everyday.


Big Brother opens the door to the bedroom and the housemates run in to claim their beds. As his bed is near the door Vinnie says he’ll be on official tea making duty for Stephanie.


Alex, Heidi and Stephanie are in the bedroom. “It’s cheesy but my fighter name is The Reidonator.” In the bedroom Stephen tells Alex he’s a little but curious about what wardrobe he has brought into the house. “All Arthur, no Martha”, say Alex before adding that he’s read he was offered an extra £100,000 to come into the house as his alter ego, Roxanne. “I’d wear a dress for a 100 grand.”


Most of the housemates are in the lounge. Vinnie and Stephanie are discussing living in LA. “I quite like it over there but there’s a lot of stuff in Britain that you do miss”, says Vinnie. Nicola is talking to Sisqo about his hit ‘Thong Song’ and how a friend of hers was dumped by her boyfriend after dancing very provocatively with another man to the song.

Later Stephanie is in the Diary Room talking to Big Brother. “I’m surprised the loo doesn’t shut and the showers are so small… but it’s jolly and sweet in the house” Stephanie then complains that they “it’s acrylic we’re sleeping on”. Big Brother asks what her character Sable Colby would have made about this fact. She replies “she wouldn’t”.


Nicola and Stephanie are in the Snug discussing what Nicola wants to do with her life. “I think it’ll be really hard for to get into acting because I’ve been a page 3 model. I’m not anymore but I was for five years”, she says. Stephanie tells her she shouldn’t have to worry about being stuck with a page 3 title.


Some of the housemates are in the lounge. Alex talks about how much food he normally eats, Heidi says,” You definitely have a cute little body”. Alex goes on to talk about how the papers said he was offered money to come into the house dressed as his alter ego. “What alter ego?” Vinnie asks.

Stephen updates Vinnie on the tabloid reported Alex and Dane story as they both dated Jordan.
Vinnie asks Dane when he dated Jordan; he tells him it was before she married Peter Andre. “Before Peter”, says Vinnie. “I like Peter.” Alex tells Vinnie him that he gets on well with Peter; despite the fact the two haven’t met either


Stephanie tells the group that her dog has tattoos on his belly. “We think probably he was a gang bitch dog”.


Most of the housemates are in the lounge. Alex is telling Nicola about his part in Hollyoaks. “I lied through my teeth to get that part”, he tells her as he was supposed to be able to play football. He also says that being in Hollyoaks was a curse as you’re never considered a serious actor after that. 


Heidi is in the Diary Room talking about her time so far in the house. She says everyone is nice but she is finding a lot of people annoying. “I could be wrong but I thing Stephen’s a bit of an idiot. I could be wrong. He’s a really nice guy”.


Katia, Jonas, and Sov are at the smoking area commenting on Alex taking his top off to clean up. “I don’t find it attractive”, says Katia. Sov says that next time she gets hot and is cleaning up she will take her top off too.


Vinnie in the diary room talking about how he was expecting a different level of celebrity in the house, some have worked hard but others have fallen into fame without any skills. “Tabloid celebrities I think some of them are. I don’t really know any of them… and some are trying a bit hard in here”.


Sisqo is in the Diary Room talking about Sov and how he is intrigued by her. “There’s got to be a lot more there but I’ll get to the bottom of it.” He then pulls silly faces and does a rap about fire.

The rest of the Housemates are in the lounge. Jonas talks to Nicola about farting and says that, “if you’ve got a hairy bum its easier to be quiet”, when farting. He goes on to say because he waxes his bum its hard not to make a sound when he farts.

Some of the housemates are in the bedroom as Sisqo begins singing a love song he tells how he shot the video at Heidi’s house. Stephanie tells Sisqo “You’re gorgeous”.


Heidi is in the bedroom talking about her time in prison and how she had to remain sober and clean, as she wanted to keep her wits about her at all time. “I was scared to get high” “I had to be my sharpest ever in prison”. She compares being in prison to her life now “I didn’t get paid to go in prison!”
Jonas then divulges how when he was a teenager he thought he had a problem with a masturbation addiction – 25 times in one day! “I had a huge masturbation problem when I was younger.” Stephanie looks disgusted. Katia jokingly suggests they could “help him break his record while he is in the house!”


The housemates are moaning about laundry. Stephen can’t believe there is no washing machine. Stephanie and Stephen go to the diary room to speak to Big Brother. Stephanie and Stephen seem happy with the outcome of the chat with Big Brother.

In the diary room Stephanie says “Sisqo is from another planet and I want to visit it! I love it. I think he’s divine” She jokily tells them how “everything is really dope and sick”. Stephen thinks she’s learning the vernacular fast.


Most of the housemates are in the bedroom discussing farting. Jonas thinks he’s found a “soulmate” in Katia, as she is so good at farting. Stephanie and Vinnie are in the snug. Stephanie is amused by Jonas.. there is a definite ‘lowering of the tone’ when he is around.

Jonas is seen in the garden rolling up more snow to add to the snowman when the tree in the garden begins to whisper to Jonas who is building the snowman, saying
“Psst… Jonas.. it’s me the tree.. sshh don’t let anyone know I’m talking to you.. come over to see me slowly. Don’t arouse suspicion. Jonas you must tell anyone about this conversation. Do you understand?”

The tree whispers how he can win Stephanie some Egyptian cotton sheets. All he has to do is sprinkle some sand provided in the tree trunk on another housemates bed. Jonas says he won’t do the task at first saying ‘I cant do it without being seen’ but with some encouragement from the tree who says ‘you can do it Jonas’ Jonas takes the bottle of sand from the tree and walks away.
Stephen is in the Diary Room he tells Big Brother who he has bonded with the most in the house he says he finds Dane is the least interesting ‘He chops a mean cucumber and grills a good salmon but after all that, what good is he?’
Temptation Tree
Located in the garden, the Tree of Temptation will be able to offer Housemates what they most desire, be it food, drinks or other luxury items. Should they give in to temptation however and take the item the Tree offers them, then a price will have to be paid. For every reaction there is an equal and opposite reaction. This means that for every gain, someone in the House must pay a price.

The Tree of Temptation offered Jonas the chance to win Stephanie some very posh bed linen. However, in order to win the bed linen for Stephanie, the Tree of Temptation has requested that Jonas take a bottle of sand and sprinkle it in another Housemate’s bed.

Jonas lost the opportunity to gain luxury bed linen for Stephanie by confessing to the group that he had succumbed to the lure of the Tree of Temptation. Jonas admitted that he had taken a bottle of sand with the intention of pouring it in another Housemate’s bed. By confessing, he broke the deal he made with the Tree. Now the Tree has delivered its wrath.

Jonas was asked by Big Brother into the Diary Room, where he selected Sov to join him. Big Brother then sent the two of them to the Task Room which contains one small bed with hessian linen. They just have water to drink, egg and jam sandwiches to eat. Oh, and they’re having to listen to ‘All I Ever Wanted’ by Basshunter on a loop.

Nicola and Sov are in the Diary Room singing Puppy Love, and keen to report on Katia and Jonas’ romance. Sov has her own theory. Nicola really wants them to get it together whilst Sov explains she thinks “Jonas likes Kat more than Kat likes Jonas”.


In the Snug Stephanie and Vinnnie discuss goings on in the house. The first topic is Jonas and Katia and the possibility of an on screen relationship. Stephanie “they should be evicted and go off into the sunset together.” She then suggests she will be evicted for snoring. She monologues ‘People will ask “why were you evicted?” and I will say “for snoring” and they’ll say “not because you were a bitch?” “No. Just for snoring.” ‘


In the Diary Room, Big Brother explains that for a task the boys are to take part in a ‘Hunk Off’. The rounds will be evening wear, swim wear and talent and will be judged by the girls. One male housemate will not compete, instead taking the role of presenter. Vinnie asserts authoritatively, he will be the one to present.


The men receive swim wear costumes in the diary room – a selection of mankinis. ‘Jonas “‘it’s a mankini”. Dane “I don’t even know how this goes on.” – Alex “How the hell are we gonna fit all our bits in there?”
One by one, Big Brother asks each housemate to confirm he is happy with his mankini. Jonas and Alex agree and are released from the Diary Room. Sisqo reluctantly agrees. In the bedroom Sisqo “They’ve got me wearing this f*cking shit, When I go back to the hood they really gonna break my balls”… “This sh*t is crazy, I’m gonna have to shave”.


Vinnie wants to know about Alex “was he unheard of before Katie Price?’ Dane and Vinnie discuss Alex’s fighting. Dane ‘he said he won a belt”. Vinnie makes a dig: “that it might be a Louis Vuitton belt”‘.
They are watching Stephen and Alex practicing fighting in the lounge. Vinnie comments “If bullshit was music there would be a brass band in the lounge.”

7.11 pm

Alex is the final hunk to display his talent. He builds a stunt, doing the splits using two chairs. “This was last performed in 2004 and resulted in a split groin”. He completes the stretch, before falling off the chairs to the ground, unharmed.

Vinnie reads the final results in ascending order. Stephen finishes in 5th position, a disappointed Alex comes in 4th, Jonas takes respectable 3rd place. Sisqo and Dane are the last two competitors in the running, but Sisqo snatches the crown.


Katia and Jonas cozy up at the smoking area. In the Kitchen Vinnie taunts Alex about his loss. He teases him for being ‘devastated with 4th place’. Alex takes the ribbing so Vinnie continues “I was Dell Boy and you were Rodney. Rodney you plonker”. Stephen walks past; Vinnie comments “Here’s Trigger.”


Katia and Jonas have been in bed together all night. She puts his hand to her chest.. he takes the prompt and kisses her passionately on her neck.

Celebrity Big Brother airs on Channel 4 nightly.

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