Its that time of the year again when The British (TV) Soap Awards gives the worthy of the world of saga a gong for their achievements. Let’s take a look at the 2011 nominations.

ITV state that “Entries from the five biggest soaps are eligible – Coronation Street, Doctors, EastEnders, Emmerdale and Hollyoaks”. Although Corrie, and William Roache, regularly, state it isn’t a soap. And I suppose in the traditional sense of the term – based on the American format – only Hollyoaks comes near to being ‘a true soap’ these days. But anyway…

Hosted by Phillip Schofield (I guess he’s cheaper than Ant and Dec) the British Soap Awards will romp through these nominations like Heather Trott chewing on a Hamburger.

So what does the quality laden event start with, something cultured like ‘best script’? No of course not, that’s far too intellectual for soap opera, lets start with image…

The first award is for sexiest male, followed by the female counterpart. Last year ‘Enders Scott Maslen won it for the boys and Michelle Keegan from Corrie for the gals.

This years nominations include Keith ‘Boyzone’ Duffy for Coronation Street. He’s a nice chap, worth some sort of award. Former Hollyoaks ‘hunk’ Chris Fountain is also nominated for Corrie with Scott Maslen once more the EastEnders entry with Danny Miller from Emmerdale making the final four males on the list.

The women up for the vote this year include Michelle Keegan again for Corrie with co-star Alison King joining the line up as well as Rita Simons for ‘Enders and Jennifer Metcalfe for Hollyoaks. No females from Emmerdale. Are the Dingle women not attractive enough? Maybe its time for another award, best use of a farm animal…

Last  year Larry Lamb won the villain of the year gong for his dirty rotten EastEnders character. But Archie Mitchell has bit the dust so who’s up for it this year…

Ah yes Kate ‘she’s behind you’ Ford for Coronation Street. The highly plausible return of Barlow (sniggers) was the highlight of the aftermath of the tram crash or maybe not if the fan forums are to be believed. They really should put in an award for best pantomime style villan, she’d win it hands down. (Wide cheesey Tracey-style grin held for three seconds).

There is also ‘Enders Charlie Brooks up for the villain gong. Now Janine can tip into pantomime too, but she plays her role  with much more gusto than her Corrie counterpart. A much more all round convincing character, I’d certainly give Janine one.

Also for EastEnders is Don Gilet as nutty Lucas. Not overly keen on this character or the storyline, it had more plot holes than a sieve and the fact his main victim (who lived), was, after being locked up and kidnapped only an episode later from this trauma laughing and joking in the Queen Vic made it all a bit sh**e. Where’s the after shock, the months of recovery? Odd for Walford, they usually like dragging out misery.

There is also a nomination for Hollyoaks in this category, but I doubt anyone really cares about that.

Now onto serious and worthy awards – yes best actor.

Scott Maslen, formerly of The Bill and currently of EastEnders, took the award last  year. This year the nominations are,

Chris Gascoyne as Peter Barlow in Coronation Street. Dramatically dramatic over a tram crash and a wayward screwing wife-to-be this year. A high contender surely.

For EastEnders we have Shane Richie’s Alfie Moon. Now in the past people may have thought Richie was all jazz hands and no depth, but the apparent death of the characters baby showed he has much more to give as an actor than just the ‘carry on’ style performance. Again another that could take the gong.

For Emmerdale they’re banking on the pink vote for Danny Miller who has done the reworked Hollyoaks ‘gay’ storyline for Emmerdale. This year his tear stick will have been on overtime – as it had been in 2010. Give the tearstick the award!

There is also another actor in this list from Hollyoaks, but there is more chance of June Brown being nominated for sexiest actress than ‘Oaks winning an acting award – well since the departure of James Sutton anyway.

Best actress last year went to Lacey Turner, the down trodden Stacey in EastEnders, but she’s now gone onto new projects so who’s for the list this year?

Well Coronation Street has Katherine Kelly as chav Becky McDonald. But well, she was winding up the much-loved Liz McDonald in recent plots was Becky – so would that go against her…?

EastEnders’ Jessie Wallace as Kat Moon has possibly stolen this gong, her scenes – like Richie – concerning the supposed death and then revelation her baby had been swapped were indeed worthy of the top prize.

Then there’s Jane Cox for Emmerdale. A serious contender. While Emmerdale is over populated with often pathetic Dingles, Jane as Lisa is one of the more popular ones. Her rape storyline certainly proving she can pull off convincing performances.

Hollyoaks also has an actress, but again, doesn’t really stand a chance. Not with the current ratings for ‘Oaks, unless those fans get multi-emailing and texting in.

A group of ‘soap experts’ decide the winners of these next awards…

Best comedy performance. Last year Craig Gazey won it for Corrie. This year his co-star Patti Clare is up for the gong. Mary, a true Coronation Street comedy character, is certainly worthy of this one.

Tameka Empson as Kim Fox in EastEnders is also nominated. I’d have thought Fatboy was more amusing personally.

Charlie Hardwick as Val Pollard in Emmerdale is also into the final four. She’s certainly comedy gold and has been time and time again. Seems to be often over looked for such gongs though, which is a shame.

Then there is Alex Carter as Lee Hunter in Hollyoaks. Now an award for over-expressions and gurning maybe, but comedy as in ha-ha funny? NO!

Best dramatic performance was won by the lovely Lacey Turner from EastEnders last year, this year for ‘Enders Lindsey Coulson as Carol is up for the award. And a worthy nomination indeed.

Jane Danson as Leanne in Coronation Street, again another past year of dramatic storylines for her character makes this section a tough decision.

Danny Miller as Aaron Livesy in Emmerdale. Not on my hot list to be honest. Overrated springs to mind and milking-it for another.

Claire Cooper is also in the list for Hollyoaks.

Best young performer nominations include Alexander Bain as Simon in Corrie – oh yes, what a little star he is! As well as Eden Taylor as Belle in Emmerdale. She got on my tits a long time ago, the novelty certainly has worn off there. Oh and of course the best actor in Hollyoaks is also in this list – Ellis Hollins as Tom. Would be nice for him to win something, sometime!

The departure lounge of the awards are as follows for best exit. Bill Tarmey for Jack’s death is in the final four for Coronation Street, Lacey Turner leaving on a jet plane for EastEnders while Andy Devine’s drunken watery demise as Shadrach in Emmerdale is also included. As is a story from Hollyoaks.

This is a difficult one. It’s a toss up certainly between Bill and Lacey, I suspect it’ll go in Corrie’s favour as Jack was a long running much loved common old character of the cobbles.

Best Newcomer nominations are Paula Lane as Kylie in Coronation Street. If she wins standards have really dropped, not that they were that high in the Soap Awards anyway.

Ricky Norwood as Fatboy in EastEnders, he certainly has a big fanbase and is proving quite an all-round character with a great mix of comedy and drama.

Pauline Quirke as herself in Emmerdale (following in the tradition of Anne Charleston in playing the same part in every show she’s been in) and Emmett J Scanlan as Brendan in Hollyoaks. Who will win this, well I’m hoping for Fatboy, but the panel could be on brandy and gin by the time they chose from this lot so who knows.

This should be Scott Maslen but he's not in the folderBest on-screen double act nominations include Katherine Kelly and Simon Gregson for Corrie and Jessie Wallace and Shane Richie for ‘Enders with Emma Atkins and Jeff Hordley for Emmerdale. The latter possibly the most worthy of the gong for the pure love-to-hate relationship on-screen. Its almost Den and Angie, just without the gin, the wild hairdo and loud laughter.

Best storyline nominations. Well the one that was loathed by Corrie viewers – the Webster and Dobbs ‘Kevin and Molly affair’ slips in here. Its not a public vote so tragically stands a chance of winning.

A real worthy winner is Karen’s abortion for daytime saga Doctors. Also included is Ronnie swapping her baby for Kat’s in EastEnders. The actual swap and how it happened was badly produced. No, not a worthy one at all and neither is the next one..

Holly’s drug addiction in Emmerdale was quite painful to watch – and not for the right reasons. The ‘actress’ made me want to reach for some E.

Spectacular Scene nominations include as you’d expect, The Coronation Street CGI tram crash. I do wish they’d send the Corrie builders over to Emmerdale its taken months to rebuild a fire-hit café, yet only weeks to rebuild a cornershop, railway arch and newsagents over in Weatherfield.

The Queen Vic Fire is also up for EastEnders, which was quite dramatic, in a pub fire kind of way. There was also an incident involving a lift in Hollyoaks which is nominated.

Best Single Episode. Pointless in soap opera I’d have thought as they all moan about people judging shows like this upon one episode. Anyway, the best ever episode of the past year are apparently:

Coronation Street Live, Billie’s Death in EastEnders and The Betrayed episode of Emmerdale. Doctors is also up for nomination. Will Corrie win it for its 50th year? I suspect it may just do.

There are of course other awards which won’t be revealed until the night itself including lifetime achievement, special achievement and best British Soap.

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