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Blake Fielder-Civil remembers Amy Winehouse

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Blake Fielder-Civil remembers Amy Winehouse

On what would have been Amy Winehouse’s 40th birthday, her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil spoke to Good Morning Britain, to celebrate the late singer, while also expressing regret over ‘mistakes’ made in their relationship.

When sharing how he felt about today being what would’ve been Amy’s 40th birthday, Blake opened, “Obviously first and foremost it’s sad. I originally wanted to say ‘Happy Birthday to Amy’, but yeah it’s devastating that she’s not here, I think about her a lot.

“I thought about her this morning when I woke up, I said my little ‘Happy Birthday’ to her. Obviously I’ll always, always, always miss her. She was my best friend. We were married obviously, we had our issues, I think if it wasn’t for certain factors it would’ve been a completely different relationship, a different outcome.”

When asked what those aforementioned factors were, Blake shared,

“Aside from the obvious ones which everyone knew about – of the addiction. Fame in itself at a young age, it’s hard to deal with. And also, I think everything happened kind of quite quickly for Amy and I at the time. We were really young, just over half my life ago. And factors that a lot of people have when they’re young – mistakes. 

“Not knowing how to conduct themselves, not knowing how to pace yourself, not knowing what your limits are. Normal things that people learn as they get older that we perhaps weren’t afforded the same kind of allowances to make mistakes.”

Asked by host Susanna Reid, if he still feels that people hold him responsible for what happened to Amy, Blake said, “That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to speak today – I do,  and that’s okay. I can’t change how other people think about that.

“But for me personally, I needed to stop carrying that cross on my own. I’ve carried that burden myself for over ten years. I feel, to be honest, that I’m the only person within that story that’s ever kind of held any accountability, that’s ever tried to say, ‘Yeah, I made some huge mistakes’.”

Speaking on the mistakes he made during his time with Amy, he explained candidly,

“I was a twenty-something-year-old drug addict, so I had absolutely no idea how to make myself clean, let alone somebody else, who was a big cog in the machine for a record label, who had a vested interest in Amy to carry on performing. I wasn’t an addict before Amy was. I’d done drugs but there’s a difference between people who take drugs socially, again, this isn’t me trying to demean my role, I did become a drug addict.”

Sharing that he introduced Amy to heroin, Blake admitted, “That’s correct, again, full accountability. 

“I’d tried that particular drug a handful of times, but I hadn’t gone down any bad roads with it, I know that sounds bizarre to say but it hadn’t taken us down the depths it did, it was still just a drug.”

When asked by host Ben Shephard what he would do differently if he could go back in time, Blake stated,

“Almost everything.  Before me and Amy did that [heroin] together, I had tried it a few times so I recognise in myself now and this is part of being kinder to myself – I didn’t know what I was doing. I wasn’t going into that with the intention of this happening. I don’t think anyone around Amy, anyone that loved Amy, her family, her friends, none of them would think that this is what I would’ve wanted. But equally, I think they would’ve said, ‘Amy wouldn’t have wanted me to take this burden for the past ten-plus years’.”

Speaking on a possible reconciliation with Amy’s family, Blake shared,

“I’m not sure about their interest, but for me personally, it’s something that I’ve gone over a lot in my head. The more I’ve come away from that and been able to put what I call, ‘clean time’ under my belt, and as the months turn into years and you start rebuilding yourself, there have been times when I thought ‘Would there be value in me speaking to her family’ and making some sort of reconciliation of sorts because we all loved Amy.”

When asked if he’s tried to reach out, Blake responded, “I haven’t, no, to be honest.”

Sharing how he felt about being featured in an upcoming biopic about Amy Winehouse that is coming out next year, Blake said, “I’m not too sure about how I feel about me being a part of Amy’s story, I feel like I don’t deserve that.” And responded, “Maybe, I’ll probably see what people’s reactions [are] first” when asked if he would watch the film.”

Good Morning Britain weekdays from 6am on ITV1 & ITVX

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