Gossip Boi: Trick or Treat

Hollyoaks Halloween Cast

We rewind to November 5th 2008 as the second series of Gossip Boi runs on ATV Today. This edition, the eighteenth, has been left online as a highlight of some of our early specially commissioned features. Entitled ‘Trick or Treat’ our anon reporter looks to Halloween.

Our London based columnist, Gossip Boy, continues his new season of columns as he reports all from the scandal laced world of London. He may have restyled himself as Gossip Boi but he’s still reporting all from the Streets of London.

Halloween used to be a time when brats came knocking on your door hoping for sweets or if they were really cheeky fuckers looking for money. You’d open your door to find a collection of ugly children shouting “trick or treat” and then expect you to line their buckets with sweets just because they have the nerve to go out in silly costumes and beg for sweets. Halloween used to be the time when you had to really resist the urge to soak the fuckers by chucking a bucket of water over them, well that’s a trick isn’t it? Halloween used to be a time when students would don all kind of costumes, most of which more slaggish than Halloween, and go into town to get pissed. Halloween offered them another excuse, not that they really go in for excuses these days, to get totally rat-arsed while looking like a prat or slag. Or both.

This year the children in costumes and the pissed slags have been absent from the streets. Maybe it’s because the weather has been so crap recently. Maybe it’s because of the credit crunch and everyone is saving up for Christmas. Maybe it’s because everyone is too busy being outraged over “Manuelgate” to have noticed that it’s Halloween, or bonfire night for that matter. Usually the night skies sound like a battlefield with all kinds of powerful fireworks endlessly go off and while lighting up the dull night skies also filling them with very loud bangs.

Gossip Boi Generic

But as with the lack of Halloween Gossip Boi has also noticed a lack of fireworks and so maybe that too is due to bad weather, the credit crunch and the nation preferring to get all worked up over nothing rather than a big humanitarian problem in Africa. After all Africa always has some humanitarian problem but the chance to get all self-righteous and indignant over a childish prank only comes around once in a while. When one such instance does come along everyone should jump on the Daily Mail bandwagon and act like little Mary Whitehouses.

Usually Gossip Boi gets invited to several Halloween parties and even a few firework displays but this year no such invitations have come in. It seems everyone is skipping Halloween and Bonfire night in favour of saving some money or staying in the nice warmth of their homes. And while it seems the country has gone mad over “manuelgate” it’s not the big talking point in the bars and pubs Gossip Boi has been in. While at work people have debated the ins and outs of it, endlessly, in the bars of the gay community most people couldn’t care less. Life for them goes on and the topics of conversation are much the same. Halloween and Bonfire night seem to have past us by, maybe this weekend will bring more fireworks, and the countdown to Christmas has already begun.

It seems the effects of the credit crunch are already being felt as life becomes less fun and people start to get worked up over something and nothing. Maybe it distracts them away from the undeniable fact that life is getting harder. Maybe it gives them something to do at night instead of going out and spending money. Or maybe they are just jealous of two people who earn more money than they do. At the end of the day money doesn’t matter as money doesn’t buy happiness it just buys the illusion of it.

Gossip Boi


London's West End - 2009

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