August in EastEnders is a load of Cucumber

So far our Elstree sources haven’t been wrong. And now they tell us the BBC’s flagship serial has gone to the forefront of television drama with Darren’s foreskin. Contains mild spoilers.


The knob joke is to do with Darren – who wanting to please his Jewish girlfriend decides to undergo circumcision to remove his foreskin, like all good Jewish boys.


“After Darren receives a letter about his circumcision Max, who the teen recently moved in with, starts to send him up. He makes a cucumber sandwich, chopping it in front of Darren. Its highbrow stuff.”


Despite the innuendo Darren is adamant that he’s going to have his foreskin lopped off to please Jodie. And if that wasn’t enough viewers are to be treated to scenes of Bianca washing down one of the café tables in a suggestive manner. “She tells Whitney that she’s not been penetrated for three months. Gruesome stuff.”


I do hope Ian doesn’t find a ginger hair on his rolling pin. In other news as reported here Peggy is about to get a thumping off son Phil.

Share Button